Saturday, February 12, 2005
Life's Funny Twists & Turns
I've been in Mountain Home, Idaho for the past month in a half. My brother is in the air force and is cross training, so he had to go to a school in Biloxi which left his wife home with the baby. Now, she's in the air force too and is trying to study for Tech and she really doesn't have a support system there, so I agreed to stay with her for a month and half.
On the way and for the first few days that I was there, I was wondering what I got myself into. I mean, I barely know this woman because she met my brother and married him while they were stationed in Japan. I had only spent a couple of days here and there around her. I have to say that Jenn is a little strange, but she turned out to be not half bad. She just lets me be me and doesn't care, nor does she have any expectations of you. That right there is one big PLUS for her.
While I was there, she went out the first weekend without me cause my nephew was sick and I stayed home with him. She ended up not coming home till 6 in the morning. I'm a little curious about where she was cause the bar that she was at closed at 2 am. Now, I honestly don't care what she did, I'm just a little curious.
That next weekend I went out with her. We were going to Boise to the clubs and were going to meet up with some of her coworkers and friends. I drove, so I was going to be the DD for the night. This guy Carlos that my brother can't stand was going to be there with his friend Lee and some other guys with there girlfriends.
Need to hop off...will finish later
Posted at 10:55 am by folletti
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Several family members are wearing thin on my nerves, and a few of them have past the point of no return. My grandmother in particular has pushed it one too many times. I am so damn tired of the witch making my mother out to be a horrid person while she makes my father(her son) about to be a freaking saint! He was freaking abusive as hell when she was married to him, not to even mention the atrocities that he committed against my sister. HOW DARE SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY MOTHER!! My psycho grandmother lives in her own alternate reality that has NO TRUTH in this reality. Once this Bronco selling business is over there will be NO CONTACT with her any more till she's on her deathbed.
I've decided what I want my last words to her to be! I want to whisper in her ear and tell her that, "when she stands before God, she needs to bow down and thank him for sending my mother to take care of and protect me and my siblings from her and her son!" It may not get through, but maybe it will. I'm going to put it in my will just in case I go before her!!! :<
Posted at 12:00 am by folletti
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Well, to start my week off I found out that I have a stress fracture in my right foot. Explains why it has been hurting like hell and progressively getting worse. The doctor gave me some Loratab for the pain, which is a very good thing. I have a high tolerance for pain, but I'm just not in the mood to deal with it. To make matters worse: I can't jog or aerobics for a month at the very least. This comes at a time when I have been doing so well with the weight loss. Now, I'm going to have to find an alternative for exercise and really be strict about what I eat. ~snarls~ And NO, I don't have the slightest clue as to how I managed to fracture my foot. I'm not the only one apparently, cause a friend of mine said the same thing happened to her and she had no clue either.
Oh, and I sssoo need to get over HIM. I can live with the friend part, but the "I'm in love with him part" has to go. Problem is: How do you stop being in love with a person? F*cking sucks! Cause I'm the only one that's getting hurt. He's not trying to hurt me, but it happens. You know, I'm happy for him that he has a girlfriend(not happy about it, just happy that he's happy...I dunno know), but at the same time it hurts like hell. OMG, when he says something like: "I don't think my girlfriend would like that." I want to freakin scream: "Like I give a damn what she likes and doesn't!!" Yeah, I know. I messed up. I guess it's in God's hands cause I really don't have any idea what to do about this mess. Any ideas, feel free to let me know.
Went and rented several movies. Just going to prop my foot up, pop DVD in, and vegg out the rest of the night. BTW, my alter reality has been with Dr. Ary Krau from "Miami Slice" this past week. I've had a good week over there. :p Tata for now.
~folletti
Posted at 05:59 pm by folletti
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Monday, September 06, 2004
Ever had those endless nights where you never fully go to sleep? Always semi-aware of your surroundings? It's been like this for a few weeks now; it's driving me a little batty. I normally have a hard time falling asleep and usually wake a few times through the night, but this is NUTS!! I go through my day in a fog because I'm so exhausted.
UGH!!
On a good note, I lost another 3 lbs this past week. YAY! I've been changing my eating habits and religiously working out since May. My goal is to loose 78 lbs, and that will put me in the middle range for my height and body type. So far, I've lost 24 lbs. The first 15lbs of it was the weight that I gained last year when I quit smoking. LOL...I always said that I would have to quit smoking before I could loose weight, otherwise, I would defeat my purpose. I feel like I'm on the right track in that area of my life.
~sighs~ Hopefully a restful sleep tonight.
~folletti
:p
Posted at 11:20 pm by folletti
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Alternate Reality Uncovered!!
You know what I'm talking about: that universe that only exists in your head. That private little escape from the harshness of everyday living. That's where I've been living this past year. Not dealing with the lack of direction, career, job, friends, significant other, money, living etc. Not to mention the health issues. The never ending internal abscess was a real pain in the a** and the surgeries and procedures that went along with it! The list goes on and on. Yep, that's everything that I have been avoiding. Do you blame me?
Everything is coming to a head now: money dwindling to nothing, need a new place to live, a job, some direction, and a new life. First and foremost, I don't want to stay in Oklahoma, but I have no where to go. Yes, there is actually a place I want to go, but only because HE lives there. Thing is: he doesn't want me there...feelings aren't mutual. No worries, he will have his own section later. So no, I have no clue where I want to move.
But before I can even think about moving, I need to get a job and save some money. Here's the deal: never worked through high school and college, not once. Well, I studied, but that's not actual job experience. And I should mention that I am perpetually shy and people are just not my thing...lol. I worked at a place called Measurment Inc, scoring standardized tests for various states for 2 1/2 yrs while I lived in Tampa. It was great, but it also sucked for the same reason: you would work for a few months and then have a few months off. Not very stable and no benefits. I worked for Sam's as a cashier and Sprint as a customer service representative. Let me tell you: I HATED both. It felt like I had 15lb bowling ball sitting in the pit of my stomach every day that I had to work. Is that normal?
Anyways, I quit Sprint when I had to have surgeries, and I haven't worked since then....about 8 months ago. Have I mentioned that I've been making COBRA payments each month so I can continue my medical care? Pretty much wiped out all my savings. Now, I need to get a job. All the jobs that I am qualified for: suck. They don't pay well and I am in situations that I would rather not be in. My degree in zoology doesn't help at all because I didn't volunteer while I was in school. Never knew that I needed to till it was too late. I need training, but for the time being I have to work. I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet and go apply. Is it normal to be terrified? I don't think it is.
~sighs~ I don't know what I want to do as far as a career. I think that I have listened to so many people tell me what I should do that I am thoroughly confused and no longer have a clue! I'm hoping at some point that it will become apparent to me what I want to do for a living. Right now, the only thing that I am sure of is that I don't want to work in customer service. I hate being hammered by people, especially upset people. Oh, and working with dead people is out too....worked as a medical examiner driver for a couple of months. Mowing lawns and cleaning houses is a negative. That narrows it down a little!
Guess I did say that I would talk about the HE that I mentioned above, but it will have to wait.
~folletti
¢
Posted at 11:05 pm by folletti
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